![]() ![]() This is how you seduce new friends and new lovers. This is how you charm people and convince them to put their confidence in you. Their intense emotional insecurity drives them to crack the code: This is how you entertain people and win their love. People who are successful at creative careers often have a long history of funneling their obsessive energy toward some goal: They socialize with a vengeance, they work hard, and they channel their insecurities and longings into figuring out how to be persuasive and entertaining. Likewise, working very hard and being focused on your career can be a way of trying to feel whole. ![]() We tell ourselves that we’re looking for information or even just killing time online, but there’s a stronger emotional motive than that: We’re looking for some way to feel whole, to feel loved, to feel calm, to feel turned on, to feel needed, to feel desired, to feel GOOD about the world and our places in it. We trick ourselves into believing that there’s some cure for our longing and dissatisfaction, hidden somewhere online. We treat it like a wise friend who can give us the answers we’re looking for. When you’re obsessed with something, you’re imagining that there’s a cure for your dissatisfaction, your longing, your unsettled feelings, and you will find the solution, no matter what!Įmotionally intense people often turn to the internet like it’s their own personal giant 8-ball. The twitchy, needy, obsessive energy you’re training on your boyfriend right now could be trained on anyone or anything. This is about walking around in a human body that wants way too much. It’s always there, even when he talks me through my fears. I don’t know how to stop the cycling loop in my brain that thinks of him and wonders if he still loves me enough or if he’ll leave me soon. ![]() He openly says he thinks we’re a good team and asks me what I need in the moments I’m sad. He is the most secure person I’ve been with - unafraid of communication. My boyfriend is amazing and open and communicative and talks me through my fears and anxiety, but nothing seems like enough. Your article at least helped me this morning when I was stuck circling obsessive thoughts about my boyfriend and taking to Google again to try and relieve some of this madness. I have analyzed and known this about myself forever, but no matter what I try, I can’t seem to kick the need for reassurance that my boyfriend loves me. I still can’t stop obsessing over whoever I’m in a relationship with. Despite all this, a man’s love seems to be all that truly matters to me. I have many friends and I work on myself constantly. I have been very successful (as you can see if you Google my name) in my creative career. What an amazing piece I stumbled upon of yours! Game changer. ![]()
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